Now and for Always
by Fancy-Pants Lockhart
Summary: Character reflections post-POTO.
1. Angel

Title: Lie

Chapter 1: Angel

Rating: K

Summary: In which Christine remembers.

A/N: This is the result of waking up at three in the morning. All you really need to know is that this is movie/musical based, with hints of Leroux especially he characters' physical appearances. Post-POTO.

Angel

He was my angel. He was there when I needed him. He was the only one who understood me. I loved him. I really, truly, deeply loved him. He was my world, the only reason I kept going after my father died. He brought the wonderful music to my world. He was my everything. It is true that I had Meg and Madam Giry to talk to as well, but it wasn't the same. They did not understand when I spoke of the Angel of Music, Meg didn't believe me and Madam Giry thought I was being silly and told me to forget about it. I did not listen. He made me happy. Why should I give up something that made me happy? When Raoul came back into my life, he did not believe me either. I did not care. I could live without the Him, as long as I had Raoul, because Raoul was _real._ I could hug him and kiss him and _feel_ him. The Angel was only a voice. It was not real. It was too late that I realized, he was never real. No, that's wrong. He was real. He was a _man. _A living breathing _man._ But he was no angel. He was a lie...But he was _my_ lie. I miss my lie.


	2. Ballerina

Title: Ballerina

Rating: K

Summary: In which Meg cannot forgive.

Ballerina

Meg P.O.V.

Christine Daae was always the center of attention. Why wouldn't she be? She was tall, blond and beautiful. Never mind the fact that she had little to no personality. People always flocked to her no matter where she was. Everything was always about Christine. Always. Ever since my mother took her in, my entire world revolved around Christine.

_'Make sure Christine is comfortable.'_

_'Be nice to Christine.'_

_'Share with Christine.'_

_'Spend more time with Christine.'_

But what about me? Maman never said to anyone_ ' Be nice to _Meg_,' _or _'Spend more time with _Meg_.'_ It was always about Christine. No one cared about small, dark-haired, plain-looking Meg. Not even my own mother. But it was alright. I understood. Christine had no one left after her father died. She was all alone. She needed us. She needed me. That is why I forgave her. That is why I became like a sister to her, because I thought she needed me. But she didn't. Christine always said I was her best friend. But if that were true, why didn't she tell me about her Angel until ten years later? Why didn't she tell me she was engaged to the Vicomte? Why did she keep her most privet and personal secrets from me? I could forgive Christine for being the center of everyones world. I could forgive Christine for taking the attentions of the man I'd secretly fancied my entire life. I could forgive Christine from taking the roles that should have rightfully been mine. I could even forgive Christine for taking my mother's love, no matter how much it hurt. After all, none of those things were her fault, she could no help it. But I could not forgive Christine for lying to me. That was her fault. It was her choice. It was the end of our friendship.


	3. Christine

Title: Christine

Rating: K+ (Just in case)

Summary: In which Erik wishes.

Christine

Erik P.O.V.

My life had always been rather lonely. When I was a child, I knew nothing but pain and violence. As I grew older however I found something beautiful. A light in my darkness, if you will. Music. When I was in the freak show I would listen to the gypsies playing their fiddles and violins and for a moment, I could forget where I was. I could forget how horrible my life was and I could focus on the wonderful world the music was creating. I dreamed for so long of being able to play and even compose such beautiful sounds. Then came Antoinette.

Antoinette Deveroux saved me from my prison and took me to the most magical place I could have ever dreamed of. The Paris Opera House was the most strange yet beautiful place I had ever seen. I was overwhelmed by curiosity and wonder. I studied and perfects many a skill there, music among them. But still, my life felt empty. Of course Ann kept me company at first, but then she married Augustin Giry and left to have her perfect little family. I was alone for about a year when she came back, a child in her arms.

Ann was different then. She was no longer the loving young girl I once knew. She was now a twenty year old widow raising a little girl of her own. She was very strict with the younger ballerinas and seldom smiled. She was a completely different person. She no longer came to visit me. She was focused solely on ballet and nothing else. That's how it was for years, until one day she brought _her_ home.

Christine Daae was an orphan of only seven years when she was brought to the Opera House. She was very shy at first and did not speak to anyone other than Ann and Meg for the first few weeks she was here. I did not pay much attention to her at first, after all what was a child to me? And then one fated day, I heard her sing. It was a beautiful song of mourning. But it was not beautiful because of the words, oh no. It was because of her _voice_. Who knew that a child so young could posses a voice so _pure_. After her song ended, she prayed.

_'Oh, please send me my angel of music, father! I feel so alone. I miss you! Please!' _she had cried. I had never heard someone speak in so much agony, so I spoke to her. I tried to convince myself I just felt sorry for the girl and that was the only reason I was masquerading as her angel. But I did not believe it. I was captivated by the lonely girl. So I taught her to sing. I taught her to appreciate music. I fell in love with her.

As she grew older I knew she would undoubtedly draw in suitors, but I did not worry. Her angel told her not to court. Christine Daae was a good girl and always obeyed her angel. Until the vicomte came along. I did not understand, how could she betray me? How could she leave me? The answer was so simple, I was surprised I had not thought of it before. I was a monster. How could someone as perfect and pure as Christine love a _hideous monster_ like _me?_ It was impossible.

If I had been born handsome, she would have loved me. If I had courted her properly, she would have loved me. If I was accepted among society, she would have loved me. But I am not, nor will I ever be any of those things. I am a monster. No, I am not a monster, I take that back. If I were a monster, I would have kept her with me despite her wanting to leave. If I were a monster she would be _my_ wife, not the boys'! If I were a monster, her leaving would not tear me apart! If I were a monster, I would never have loved her at all.

Now, that I think about it, I wish I was a monster.


	4. Diamond

Title: Diamond

Rating: K+ (just in case)

Summary: In which Raoul gets burned.

Diamond

Raoul P.O.V.

Pure. That is what I think of when I think of Christine. She is pure. She always had been. Christine is flawless. She is beautiful, kind, and loving. Her smile can brighten any room. She can melt my heart with just a look. It is not difficult for me to understand why _He_ fell in love with her.

Yes, it was love. I will be the first to admit that when Christine told me about her 'Angel of Music' I did not believe her. I thought she created it out of loneliness. I thought it was merely her imagination running wild. I was wrong. He was real. And he loved her.

He was there for her when she had no one else to turn to. Yes, she has told me the stories of her youth and her precious 'Angel'. He was her safety, her only sense of comfort for a very long time.

I have tried to convince myself that is why she calls to him in her sleep.

Because she misses the comfort. Not because she loves him too.

He loved her enough to let her go. He loved her enough to want her to be happy. Even if it meant hurting himself. I can not be too angry with him, because although he hurt my Christine, my love, my life, I _understand_ why he did it. He did not mean to. He would never mean to. I know that because as much as I hate to admit it, we are very much alike.

'Angel' I hear her call in her sleep once again. A tear falls down my cheek as I turn to look out the window.

'Yes, Phantom,' I whisper to the shadows, 'We are alike. We both fell in love with a diamond. And we were both burned by her.'


	5. Erik

Title: Erik

Rating: K+ (Just in case)

Summary: In which Madam Giry regrets.

Warning: Dark Madam Giry.

Erik

Madam Giry P.O.V.

My parents died when I was very young and I was taken to live there. At the Opera House. Some of my first real memories are of me training to be a ballerina. They were such wonderful memories. Much better than the ones of recent years.

I do not remember much about the day I met him. I only recall a few bits and pieces here and there. The ballerinas were taken to see the gypsy carnival. I was very excited, I had been anticipating the visit for days, ever since Madam Bristow had told us. I remember wandering about the carnival in amazement at the things being shown. And then I came to the cage. _His_ cage.

He looked so pale and thin. I wondered why he had a bag over his head. Could it be he was shy? I did not have to wonder long. The gypsy man in the cage with the boy took the bag off and showed us. I screamed along with the rest of the girls. Not in fear, but in horror of what the man was doing to the boy. He was beating him with a stick! How could he? I did not understand. The 'attraction' lasted only a few minutes and then it was over. I was still in shock. How could someone do that to a child? Even if his face was like something out of a nightmare, he was still a _child!_ The ballet mistresses reprimanded us, they even hit us a few times, but never that badly. Never enough to leave a mark. It was obvious this poor boy had many scars from what seemed like could only be years of abuse. I was about to walk away when he moved.

He killed the man. And he looked at me. In my sixteen years I had never seen such pleading eyes. What could I do but help him escape? He took the keys from the man and opened the cage. I lead him away, not looking back even as I heard shouts of 'murder' behind me. I took him to the only safe place I knew. The Opera House.

Erik, he told me later, was his name. He had been with the gypsies since before he could even remember. I felt such pity for the boy. I vowed to help him in any way I could. I went to the caverns of the Opera House everyday to visit him.

Everyday, until the day I met Augustin Giry. He was so handsome and strong. He looked at me the way no other ever had. I fell in love with him. We married and soon after I made a horrendous discovery. I was with a child. I had never wanted to be a mother or have a family of my own. Even as Augustin spoke of children, I just smiled nodded quietly. I did not want the child. The child would surely ruin my career and I would never be the Prima Ballerina I always longed to be! I resented the child with all my heart. Augustin grew ill as I progressed in my pregnancy. He could no longer work, he could barely even walk. It saddened me greatly when he passes away, only two days before the birth of his only child. His little Meg. For she was always his. Never mine. I could not bare to think of her as mine. She was all I had left of my loving husband. She was the only reminder of what I had lost. For that I hated her.

I went back to the Opera House soon after. The first thing I did was go down to visit Erik. Apparently, I was not the only one who had changed in the past few years. He was taller now. But his height was not the only thing that grew. His temper was quicker than ever and he had even less patience then before. I could not bare it. Before I left him for what I thought to be the last time I promised him I would keep my vow. I would help him in any way possible. That is how I became his messenger.

I did not personally speak to or hear from Erik again until after the Opera House was burnt to the ground. Poor Erik. He must have been so lonely. I cannot help but feel guilty for all that has happened. If I had never left him alone, would he still have gone insane? If I had introduced him to Meg, would they have formed a friendship? Would they both have been happier? For I know they both have lead miserable lives until this point. Augustin's only child forced to win her mother's love. And Erik forced into a life of loneliness. If I had never brought him to the Opera House I would still have a home, Christine would not be plagued by nightmares of her former angel, and Erik...well, who knows where he would be.

Only Meg knows where he is now. She saved him after the fire, much like I did at the carnival. I can only hope that she does not regret her decision like I have regretted mine. I do not hate her so much as to wish such guilt on her. My wishes for him, however...no matter how bad my guilt is, I hope his is a thousand of time worse.


End file.
